Good Things Take Time

Hey babes. It’s been a hot minute since I last posted a blog. I really set out to do better this year, but I clearly haven’t succeeded. I’m a bit stressed at work, and a family member just passed away a couple of weeks ago, so that has brought its own stresses (I don’t know why weddings and funerals bring out the worst in people). I’m not going to lie; this blog is not about fashion and might be a little bit of a rant, so if you’re not here for it, trust me, I completely understand.

I have recently been flirting with the idea of walking away from micro blogging on Instagram. It’s suddenly not as fulfilling as it once was, and I’m not sure if that because I’m stressed or because I feel like I’m failing.

When I started this journey about 9 months ago, I was so excited to share my style and connect with other women -- I wanted to inspire and be inspired. But it hasn’t exactly happened the way I envisioned it. First, I have attracted way more men then I have women. And that’s fine-- there are some wonderful and supportive gentlemen out there, but connecting with men was not my original vision. Yes, I have made some amazing female connections too, but I can’t help but feel frustrated with the idea that my page is more appealing to men than it is women.

So, I’ve been asking myself if I am relevant --to women I mean? Should I be here? Does my account matter? Is this a waste of my time and energy?

But a recent message helped gave me a different perspective. Not too long ago I got a DM from a woman who told me my page inspired her. She said she had been eyeing a swimsuit that she wasn't sure would be flattering, but seeing me in it gave her the courage to give it a go. And I thought wow, okay, maybe I'm on the right track. Shortly after that I got another message. The person told me that she loved my feed and my positive vibe and to keep the post coming. I can’t tell you what that meant to me during a time of doubting myself --shout out to anyone who takes the time to encourage others.

So, I guess this is my point – don’t quit just because it doesn’t look like your winning…looks can be deceiving. Stick with the things that inspire you…you never know whose life you might be touching or who’s journey you might make a little easier. You never know who you might be inspiring.

And let me expose myself a bit… I’m guilty of the comparison game. I was looking at the success of other pages and measuring my own success against theirs. But success doesn’t look the same for everyone. My blog and Instagram page are still new…so I must trust the process of becoming. I may not be reaching all the women I would like to, but I am reaching some, so I should celebrate that.

I don’t know who this message might resonate with, but sometimes we have to let go of what we thought something “should be” and appreciate what it is. If your working on something that doesn’t seem to be panning out, don’t quit. Remember, most good things take time. So keep going!

Celebrate where you are and where you are going. And remember, good things take time.

Happy New Year!

Well, first off, Happy New Year! I know I have been missing in action. One reason is unreliable "free" blog software. Yes, it's thrifty and convenient, but it doesn't always work. But, in all honestly, most of it is pure laziness and simply being distracted by all the goings on of the holidays. But HELLO NEW YEAR! Time to start fresh and shake off old distractions. I don't do New Year Resolutions, but I do try to start the year with a mantra or a theme...kinda a personal vision so to speak. This year, my mantra is all about being brave. I literally want to spend this year being the heroin of my own life.

For me, being brave means stepping out of my comfort zone. I'm typically a very private person and I tend to over analyze everything. So putting myself out there to be judged...and possibly rejected...is a hard thing for me to do. But in order to be a hero, I have to step out and be seen. I can't hide in the crowd. And, yes, stepping out means being judged. I'm sure there are those saying "what does she think she's doing", "why is she doing that, or wearing that, or saying that", "she just wants attention" and so on and so forth. But what I am doing is for me. No one else has to understand it. No one else has to approve it or like it. For the first time in my life I love my body and I'm truly happy just being me. Not because I'm perfect or my body is perfect, but because me and my body are both worthy of love. And that is a huge milestone for me. So I choose to celebrate that in a way that makes me happy and hopefully encourages other women to love their bodies and celebrate who they are and what they look like.

Yes, I'm 40, and I'm a wife... and I'm a mother and aunt, and a sister, and a daughter, I'm a co-worker, and a friend. And with all those labels comes societies expectation of what you should look like, dress like, be like, act like. Well, I say eff that! I'm striving to be my own hero -- that's the role I'm focused on in 2019--and that may not look the way society thinks it should! But I'm striving to make myself and my joy a priority and not bury myself under all the other roles I currently fill. You have to take something out of life for yourself. Life may not just give it to you--YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT! You have to pour into YOURSELF and your own well-being! So step out and be seen in all your glorious light. Let them see you sparkle. If they don't like it, let them look away. Don't dim your shine for anyone. Wear that dress. Squeeze into those jeans, and let a little cleavage show if that's what makes you happy. Don't hide honey, because your not alone. I'm squeezing in those jeans and stepping into the light of a BRAVE NEW YEAR!

Printed Faux Wrap Dress - City Chic @ Macy's or Citychiconline.com

Navy Ruffle Hem Lace Fit & Flare Dress - Lane Bryant

Nothing But Blazers

I'm all about clothes that help me feel effortlessly chic, and let me tell you blazer's provide just that vibe. But finding the right blazer can be tricky. I have been every size from 6 and 16, and I have tried every blazer in between. The wrong blazer or jacket can be tight and restricting, especially for us plus size girls who may have larger arms or are let's say, have boobs galore. ;) So I try to avoid blazers that are too long or lack shape. It's really important to find blazers that have some stretch and contour at the waist.

I am a little embarrassed to say this, but I probably own about 30 blazers. Some are from places like Forever21, Macy's, and Target, but most of from Lane Bryant. They are basically just winning when it comes to creating the right kind of blazer for the thicker chick. And BONUS, they come in several vibrant colors and prints this year so they can help you keep your winter wardrobe interesting without a lot of fuss. Basically, blazers make being chic and stylish easy and I always feel a little extra confidence boost when I'm in one.

Style Tip: If you have a blazer that is too long, add a belt and you'll be golden.